Vacations (Again, Again, Will She Ever Stop?)

It’s vacation season, so my mother has come back to haunt me. For context, my mother is abusive, mentally, verbally, and physically. A bunch of my childhood abuse centered around vacations. As a result, I swore I would never ever ever go on a vacation with her once I had a choice.

For this and lots of other reasons, we’re VLC. I talk to her today only as much as is required to avoid having a “your daughter is an abusive bitch” conversation with my 100-year-old grandmother. She mostly pretends everything is okay, because she’s a gaslighter par excellence and would die before she let strangers see that she has anything but the perfect faaaaaamily.

Recently, DH and I went on vacation to the beach. We got an airbnb. We did not tell her when or where we were going, as she has invited herself or vacations before.

Imagine my surprise when someone knocked on our door and it’s her. “Hey, do we know you?” she says, all fake-jokey.

“No.” I said, and I closed and locked the door. She knocked for a while, but our airbnb was on a public street, so she eventually went away without making a scene.

My dad and my brother have been blowing up my phone saying I’m a bitch, that was uncalled for, blah blah blah. I can’t bring myself to care.

ETA in response to a lot of people’s worries : my mother has the technical abilities of a houseplant, and she doesn’t live near us/is always supervised when she visits, so I know she doesn’t have access to my phone/car/accounts. I’m pretty sure the leak here is my ILs.

Vacations (Again, Again, Will She Ever Stop?)