UPDATE 2: It’s been one year since I left home.

Update 2 to my previous posts:

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to provide an update for all of the supportive kind souls from my previous posts. One year ago I left home after my mom spiked my coffee with some voodoo powder. All in the hopes of making me submissive and also hate my father.

I won’t lie, leaving was really hard. I left my comfort zone. Initially I was on a depressive streak, crying every night and having really dark thoughts….Wondering why this was happening. But eventually I managed to slowly forget the pain and got distracted with my new life. Living with my dad again after over a decade was such a big change for me. He’s so caring and makes sure that everything is taken care of in the house. I’ve never felt so cared for. He’s not perfect but I am eternally thankful for having him as my dad. For once I’m the kid and not the parent.

Strangely, something I didn’t expect myself to feel was yearning. After afew months I started missing my mom. The good memories of her made me soft. I even considered reconnecting. During one of our family gatherings, mom was there. I’m guessing she was in a bad mood because the love bombing facade was gone. She was making snarky comments and cornering me with questions infront of everyone. My short answers eventually returned with her exclaiming to everyone “I suffered and had her at the age of ___. And look at how she’s replying me”. Just like that, I snapped out of it. Seeing her classic traits reminded me of why I left. Being a people pleaser sometimes makes you forget why and feel guilty. Screw that. I don’t miss her. I miss the idea of having a mom. But that ain’t it.

For anyone contemplating NC or are in it. Trust yourself. Trust your gut. We’ve been taught to question our own instincts. Believe in yourself. It’s never too late to strive for a better life. So do what’s best for you. Thank you everyone who supported me with your kind words in my previous posts. When I’m down I just re-read those comments and reassure myself. So thank you :) Have an amazing day folks.

UPDATE 2: It’s been one year since I left home.