my mom and her bf and my forced interactions with him

my mom has been dating this guy for abt oh lord, some years now. and we’ve barely said anything more then “hey how’s it going” to each other. although, he doesn’t seem to take it personal as i am 23 and he’s only over on the weekends, which i get one day off and one day i work on.

lately she’s been bitching how i don’t talk to him or acknowledge him and how it’s embarrassing to her, she made it a point to mention that *he* hasn’t said anything abt it. it’s just purely how she feels and i’m just like *sigh* i can’t do anything right huh?

like, i think they may have been dating since i graduated high school and she’s NEVER made a solid attempt to integrate us or anything like that. at least nothing that worked for me. up until we moved in together, she always traveled to see him so it’s only been as of dec. that i’ve really *seen*. she wanted me to meet him for thanksgiving like two or so years ago as a family thing but like i told her, i have work and i can’t just wait for y’all to make the 40min drive down here bc i’m leaving at x time.

now he’s over all the time and i don’t really care, i speak to him, i acknowledge him, hell, he helped me move me bed and shit to this house but she’s been on my case abt it more than EVER lately and it makes me not want to leave my room when he’s over bc it’s like i feel forced to talk to him now and if i don’t, i gotta hear her mouth at some point

like yesterday i got off work and instead of asking me why i got off late or how work was, it was “did you speak to ___ yesterday” and apparently me waving at him while i was on the phone getting ready for work wasn’t enough.

like no one’s making any attempt. he’s not or she’s not, and i just don’t know what she expects of me. or how she thinks meshing us together is gonna work. as she said “he’s not going anywhere” but she’s making it seem like i’m treating him some type of way, which im not. he actually kinda defends me in private sometimes when my mom is “mad” abt something i did or didn’t do.

but i genuinely don’t know what she expects out of me or us when it’s like, im an adult. im not gonna start treating him like a dad or some shit but i don’t know how she expects us to interact with each other when to me and probably to him, we’re just two strangers with a middle man in common.

idk man, it just frustrates me bc we’ve all been could’ve had dinner and talk and shit years ago. or he can make some type of attempt on his own now. if anything it makes me not want to talk to him bc it feels like an assignment im being graded on and i’m already awkward enough and reserved enough as is.

my mom and her bf and my forced interactions with him