JNMIL finally lost grandchild access for rest of summer

On Tuesday I invited my MIL to go to the zoo on Thursday with me and the kiddos. She was delighted for invite.

She asked if she could keep kids Tuesday night and I said fine. Went to get them this afternoon and she told me kids were great, and that she called the zoo and was told animal habitats were being cleaned so they wouldn’t be out on Thursday, so did I think we should reschedule. To which I said yes.

Two hours later, my hubby, kids, and I are driving to dinner and my hubby announces he stopped by in-laws house today to say hi bc he was working nearby but nobody was there. I said that was odd bc to my knowledge, they stayed home all day. That’s when son starts telling us all about their trip to the zoo today. Then my daughter starts telling us all about how the animals weren’t there today.

So I call my MIL immediately and ask her if they went to the zoo today and after a long silence she says yes. I said “so you took them today even though we had plans as a family to go tomorrow? And she says yes. I have a dr appointment in am and I say “I’ll see you at 9 tomorrow, goodbye.”

So this really bothers me.

She called me 3 times back to back, and then starts texting me about unrelated babysitting stuff for next week.

After some reflection I responded that I don’t need any help next week with childcare, nor will I be needing any help for the remainder of the summer. I wasn’t mean about it, I just said that it was easier to do my volunteer work when my oldest is in school, so I’ll be taking July off.

I’m pleased to report that for the very first time ever, my husband is on board and supportive of this initiative.

MIL asks if this is bc I’m upset about the zoo and she apologized in the way that’s not really an apology. The old “I apologize if you’re feelings are hurt”, when the right thing to say would have been “I’m sorry for not telling you I took your kids to the zoo without informing you and purposely withholding that info bc I knew it was wrong of me to do.”

So yeah. JNMIL has been getting the boundaries smacked on her since Mother’s Day, and she finally effed up big enough to lose access to grandkids.

I don’t really know what to say to her at this point that’s not totally b-holish and I’d rather not stoop to hostility.

But yeah, JNMIL took herself out of the equation.

JNMIL finally lost grandchild access for rest of summer