Since my last post, bridges have seemingly been mended and boundaries were set. Relations between MIL and I have been fairly steady, and okay after a long discussion on expectations and roles, one of the things was she agreed to be there for us as support when we needed her.
Until yesterday when for whatever reason she started in what she’s doing. I don’t know a word for it.
For starters, I 23F, SAHM to 1 year old twins had a job interview/physical assessment lined up for 9:00AM yesterday.
Things have been hard on a single income. And my husband and I wanted to try moving into a bigger home this fall. He made decent money doing construction that paid the bills. But we were constantly paycheck to paycheck, we had the babies birthday at the beginning, which was fairly modest. DH and I reached an agreement, and got the max we could afford. Everyone was happy.
So for my interview, I was under the impression my husband would be at work. So I texted around last week, and no one was available. I messaged my MIL as a last Hail Mary and we were desperate. And she agreed. She wanted to see the grand babies anyway, and that she had presents for them. I was thankful, and told her I’d give her $50 or more for the two hours I’m gone for my interview. She said that was fine, but she wasn’t expecting money, and for me to keep it since times are rough.
Well catastrophe happens. My husband called me this past Wednesday morning, that himself and several others were laid off. We had a stressful day, and were both putting in job applications for him. He received a callback that night, a interview at 9:30AM. He asked for a different time, and they said no, it’ll go to a different candidate. He accepted, since his mother would be here anyway to watch the twins. We hadn’t told anyone he lost his job yet. Because we weren’t thinking about others. And just needed to find something for us to feed our babies, and keep the lights on.
Come Thursday morning, MIL texts me at 6:30AM. The conversation is as follows
MIL: Hey, what time again?
Me: 8:00, but you can come later if you’d like. is home, but needs to leave at 9:00AM.
MIL: why is he home so late?
Me: He was unfortunately laid off his job yesterday, but managed to secure an interview for a job this morning at 9:30AM. So he’ll be here whenever you come in.
MIL: oh that sucks.
Me: Yeah. Thankfully someone called, and was interested. So we shouldn’t be in trouble for long.
MIL: Well good luck on your interviews!
Me: Thank you. We appreciate your help, hope to see you soon!
MIL: I think I’m going to stay home.
Me : Is everything okay? We’d still appreciate your help if possible
MIL gave no response. So I canceled my interview and sent my husband to his. He was upset since I talked about how excited I was for this interview, and could possibly have some extra money for the babies. But his potential job would make more money than mine, so I bit the bullet.
MIL texted later that afternoon, if she could come over? I told her maybe another day, since I wasn’t feeling up to it at the time. She asked how my interview went, and I told her I had to cancel. She said “that sucks”. I didn’t respond to anymore messages.
I thought we could get along, and keep a good relationship for everyone’s sake. But I’m so annoyed, not at the cancelled interview because things happen, but at her attitude and words. She flipped a switch within minutes. And I’d be understanding if she said she was sick or something, but she didn’t. Then wanted to come over that afternoon? Doesn’t make sense in my head.
Is there something she’s putting down that I missed or misinterpreting?
Before anyone says, no one is obligated to watch my kids. I know this, and this was a prior agreed upon time for childcare. I’m just at a loss for her attitude change.