Context so my mother was married very young to an older wealthy man. A pampered teen will stay a teen well into adulthood. My childhood was a disaster, she had me 9 months into the marriage, and I was raised on autopilot. I wasn’t even allowed to grow attached to the nannies because she would get jealous when we grew attached and fired them constantly.
My childhood was basically a massive sense of claustrophobia, no support, no responsible adult figures. She would discuss issues with her marriage around us kids, she would spend all her time socialising with her friends, we were even physically hit the few times we dared act out.
I turned 16, applied myself into boarding school, peaced out to university at literally the other end of the world. During university she’d call about once every two to three months and start each call with a guilt trap “you don’t call, don’t you think of me, etc.”
Fast forward, I am now in my 30s, and she constantly calls me with disasters for help. I obliged because I thought it was what I was supposed to do. It reached a point where her calls or even the idea of her calls give me anxiety. I gaveher advice about what to do with her life, how she should manage her personal finances etc. and she would ignore. The situation would get messed up, and she’d call for help – where if she just goddamn listened it wouldn’t have messed up in the first place.
One incident that stuck with me was when she was complaining that the state of her summer house was very bad, and my father was refusing to pay for it’s repair . So my sister and I came up with a solution. I can ask my father to sign it over to me, I’d personally pay for its repair, and give her open access. No worries about cost, or my father selling the property.
She actually thought I was positioning to steal the house. A house she doesn’t own. Me, who literally signed her over my entire share of the trust my father set up for her and her kids, a trust several times the value of that house. A trust that I never used it’s income because I didn’t want his money, and I wanted her to be taken care of. Still I let it go.
Her latest disaster was legal drama with one of her stepkids over the income of a shared property. It would not have happened if she listened to me two years ago. What made it worst is she called my sister and I repeatedly, positioning herself as clueless and in need of help. She then yells at my sister , because she wasn’t helping her enough.
So I decided I’m done. I want nothing to do with her. She is a predator that has weaponised other peoples sympathy. She is a pathological victim. I cut her off fully. I literally gave up wealth because I want nothing to do with either of them. I have a happy life living off of money I earned myself, and I just one day decided this is not a relationship I want.