How do you deal with family events?

I’ve recently gone NC with my JNM. Previously I was VVVLC and used to just see her at family gatherings. Now I’m NC I’m not comfortable with seeing her at all, nor my kids seeing her.

I’ve got some distant family coming over from another country. They aren’t super close but I would like to meet them and attend the family evening event. It’s going to be awesome family members who I’m close with attending including my sibling and nana who I would love to see too. Due to work and the family visitors traveling to different regions, it not possible to just do it another time when JNM won’t be there. My Nana also won’t uninvite JNM.

I know it’s likely I’ll have to just miss it and deal with the fact that family gatherings are now another thing JNM has taken away from me, but I’d love for there to be another option that still allows me and my kids to have important family days with family members who are still important to us. What does everyone else do? Do you just never have family events, Christmas’ or birthdays etc anymore, or have you found a better solution, that doesn’t include breaking NC?

How do you deal with family events?