FMIL wants to wear a white pantsuit to our wedding.

I posted to another thread and was advised to post here, I am pretty new to Reddit so I guess idk how everything works.

I and my fiancé have been together 3.5 years and are getting married in late September.

About a month ago around 11pm, I received a message from my fiancé’s stepmom. It was a picture of an all white pantsuit with some gold accents. Her message was something along the lines of “Hey! I think I finally found my outfit for the wedding, what do you think?!” Since I was half asleep as we normally go to bed around 9, I responded “I would have to think about it :)” since I knew she would know I read the message. At the time I truly had not thought about how I felt about people wearing white to our wedding and I wanted to give it a fair consideration before I totally said no.

The next day, after discussing with my fiancé, around 6pm, I messaged her back and said “Hey, just wanted to check in because it looks like the messages were deleted. I’m not sure if you are upset, I am not upset. I would prefer if you didn’t wear white, ivory, etc to the wedding. The outfit is super cute, just in a different color.” To this day, I still have not received any response from her.

Fast forward about 3 more days and his stepmom sends him and his dad a long text quoting an article that asked 8 wedding planners if it’s okay to wear white. She quoted one of the two who said yes claiming that since it was a pantsuit, she did not think it would distract from me. She then said she would find something that is not “white, winter white, ivory, ecru, or cream.” And ended the message with “no need to discuss this any further.”

My husband did not respond so his dad messaged asking if he got it, fiancé confirmed but didn’t appreciate the attitude about her deciding what will be discussed. His dad said “no attitude, she will be the only one in white, got it. When someone call or text you and you don’t respond it is just rude as f***!!!!”

About 20 minutes after that she messaged him and said “So if “my name” had excitedly sent me a pic of her dress and said “I found the perfect dress, what do you think?” And I replied “I would have to think about it” – she would’ve been cool with that. Right?”

I’m not sure where to go from here. I would like to resolve this as a family and move forward, but I’m not sure how since she never replied to me. Any advice on how to handle future conversations with her?

FMIL wants to wear a white pantsuit to our wedding.